Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Hi my name is Kristen and I am in a rut...so I'm in need of some help/advice/mojo.
I CANNOT get my ass to the gym, I don't know what to do! Nothing seems to motivate me, and I mean NOTHING! Rick is getting up every morning @ 5:30 asking me to go, and I just can't find it in me to go. I haven't worked out in well over 6 weeks, and I haven't lost a lb in over 6 months! I NEED to get back on track and I NEED to lose these last 15 lbs to get me to a normal BMI. I can't find it in me, the idea of going to the gym seems like torture to me right now and I don't know why. I know once I start going and get back into a routine I'll be fine, but I just don't know how to do that. The answer seems so simple, just deal with it and go..but the idea of setting foot in the gym makes me want to cry...am I going crazy? Last night Rick asked me if I wanted to go to the gym in the morning and I just cried. Do I want to go to the gym? Hell NO! Do I need to? Hell YES! What is the sudden irrational fear of the gym? Has this ever happened to anyone?
Rick and I have the same band dr. and he has been going regular for check ups and fills- she mentioned at the last appt. that she hasn't seen me in 6 months and told him to tell me to come in. FANTASTIC. That's going to be a great appt. NOT! I'm up probably 2 lbs from the last time she saw me. Do I need a fill? NO! Do I need an un-fill? Possibly. I just don't know what I want or need. I am so mentally and physically confused. Some days I eat just fine, other's I PB everything. Am I eating the wrong foods? Sometimes...but yesterday it was just chicken that did it.
Sorry for this rambling and whiny post...I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated! Love you guys!